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Post by Webmaster on Aug 17, 2008 4:32:39 GMT -5
Some times you need a laugh or just want to share a laugh. Just post it here. To get us started....
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business'," declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"
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Post by Webmaster on Sept 25, 2009 17:57:51 GMT -5
Three Elderly Sisters
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells out, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then replies, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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Post by Webmaster on Sept 26, 2009 20:44:49 GMT -5
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?" Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."  |
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Post by Webmaster on Sept 27, 2009 12:06:11 GMT -5
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Shes 97 today and we dont know where the hell she is ;D
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Post by Webmaster on Oct 4, 2009 12:21:11 GMT -5
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful."
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Post by Webmaster on Oct 5, 2009 20:56:06 GMT -5
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Post by Webmaster on Nov 17, 2009 10:35:45 GMT -5
HOW OLD AM I? -- A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29". "I am actually 47" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants in ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thought why not and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47." Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds." www.freeseniorcitizenssolutions.com/senior-jokes-page-6/182-senior-jokes-part-6/844-freeseniorcitizenssolutionscom-jokes-page-6.html |
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Post by Webmaster on Dec 16, 2009 11:58:01 GMT -5
What's Your Name, Again?
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" ;D
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